Baby Update

I hit the 22 week mark this week and things are starting to feel more real each day. This pregnancy has been quite the rollercoaster so far. I had my anatomy scan on the 3rd. Things were relayed to look great until the end when the sonographer shared that there were some "spots" in baby's abdomen raising concern. This alerted the high risk doctor and the genetics counselor to do more testing. Also worth noting- I went to the appointment alone. John and I had been I the ER until 3:00 in the morning with James that day for Croup. It was a rough night for all of us. James had finally fallen asleep at 5:30 that morning and we both felt it was best he slept, so John stayed home and I went to the appointment solo assuming all would be fine.


I left the doctor a complete sobbing mess, terrified that something terminal was wrong with this sweet peanut. They drew blood for the genetics tests that I wouldn't get back for a few weeks, which felt like pure torture to my anxiety. Here we are a few weeks later and all of my testing came back normal...praise Jesus!!! I will still have another scan on the 31st just to see if the spots have resolved, or what could be the cause. Otherwise this peanut is doing great and growing/developing appropriately.


My belly is really starting to expand now and starting to make me a little more uncomfortable. This babe often dances on my bladder and likes to kick my cervix from time-to-time. But, I can't complain as I love to feel his movements!


I'm hopeful that in the next few weeks we'll start to work on his nursery. We have already migrated the rocking chair from James' room to the baby's room. next step will likely be to clear out the bed to make room for the crib and get the closet cleaned out so mama can start nesting.


This pregnancy has felt so fast and so slow at the same time. I can't believe in just 6 weeks I'll be in my 3rd trimester....crazy!


Keep on growing little man! We can't wait to meet you.

Life Lately

Summer has come and gone and Fall is quickly upon us! Our Fall schedule seems to be rapidly filling up. And although we go into weekends not anticipating any plans, we end up with a weekend full of plans. That being said, here is what's been going on in the Leach residence lately.

James continues to keep us on his toes! He is opinionated, independent, and funny. The kid truly is a riot. From conversations with friends at school to asserting his own opinion just in everyday life- it truly is fun. Right now, he's super into pretend play, dinosaurs, Toy Story, and PJ Masks. He continues to love peanut butter and anything sweet (just like mama!). I love watching him develop a passion for something and really dive in and give it his all. I believe that trait will serve him well in life!

Baby Leach continues to grow! I will be 17 weeks tomorrow. It's crazy that I'm almost "halfway" in this pregnancy. I only continue to pray that things continue to go well. We have our 20 week anatomy scan in a few weeks so I think it will be helpful to get through that milestone. We are anxious to start feeling consistent movement from our sweet babe!

James is also excited to be a big brother. We do a lot of talking about the baby, etc. He is always interested in discussing the baby, where the baby is, and what his/her name will be. Still assuming we are having a boy, James has named his baby brother, which I find totally endearing. I love that we will have that story to share for many years to come.

Pregnancy Update

Here we are, 13 weeks pregnant today! We feel so blessed to have gotten this far to date. I'll admit, I've done an awful job of keeping up-to-date this pregnancy while chasing a toddler, but I'm going to do my best to catch up. Here goes....

This pregnancy has brought forward a whole new level of emotions. I'm trying my hardest to not let my fear taint my joy and excitement, but will say IT. IS. HARD. I'm trying my best to just take it one day at a time and celebrate each small milestone. 

I'm starting to feel a little more human. The fatigue this week hasn't been as bad, and the nausea seems to be letting up a little. I've been doing acupuncture, so I think between that and my medication it has made a different. I'm looking forward to getting even more energy back as I get into my second trimester. 

I've had a few OB apts and scans so far. Last week we had the 12 week scan and all looked well! We left feeling so upbeat and relieved. We were even surprised that it's possible we have another sweet BOY brewing. :) I had my 13 week OB appointment today. Baby's heartbeat was 158 and the visit overall went well. We scheduled my next several appointments through November and then scheduled my 20 week anatomy scan on October 3rd so we'll know officially if we are having another boy. 

James has been so fun to talk about this pregnancy to. He is excited to be a big brother and is always interested in the baby whenever I listen for the heartbeat. We keep talking to him regularly about it to keep him engaged. 

Again, we are thankful for this journey so far. Keep growing little one! We love you to pieces already!

8 weeks!

Sweet baby at 12 week scan- arm and spine picture.

12 week profile

13 week bump picture with my assistant.

"Shhh, mommy, do you hear da baby?"

Toddlerisms

There are so many challenging moments of being a toddler parent. However, despite the challenges of the tantrums and strong willed personality, I find this age to be so fun and so charming. I'm going to strive to keep up better at blogging so that I can remember all of the funny things that come out of James' mouth these days. Here are some of my recent favorites.

• Currently his "F's" are pronounced with an "S". Example: "Daddy, look! That hairtplane (airplane) is "slyin'"! or "Mommy, look at that "slag" (flag).
• James is learning more about days of the week and what things like "this weekend" and "next week" mean (as best as a 2 year old can interpret). Last night he told me, "Mommy, I want Daddy to snuggle me in bed next week." and "Mommy, I want to go to Boo Boo's pool next week." At least we aren't demanding things right now?
• We listened to the baby's heartbeat at home last night thanks to a friend for letting us borrow their Doppler. I finally got it to pick up so James wanted to also listen. He was rather concerned that I was laying on the floor with my shirt up, but proceeded with the following. "Mommy, I want to tell hers a secret." as he got closer to my belly and started digging in my belly button. He is currently stuck on the fact that the baby is a sister. We'll see!

Those are all that stick out this morning amidst my foggy pregnancy brain. I'll continue to update as more funnies come in!

Catch-up!

Here I am, yet again, way behind schedule. I'm going to do my best to re-cap the last 2 months for our family.

We wrapped up April with Daddy's birthday. It was fun to help James pick our decorations and celebrate our main guy!

Mommy and Daddy also managed to sneak in a date night to The Rock Chalk Ball. It was our first time attending it was super fun!

May started with a Cinco de Mayo party at our house! We had friends, good food, and outside fun to kick off the event. May continued to be busy with John training for his triathlon. We went to support him as he did KC Triathlon. James had fun watching daddy race!

Post race, we enjoyed some quality family time for Mother's Day. My boys spent the day spoiling me with love. This Mother's Day was bittersweet as we were missing our girl, Grace. It was a good day to reflect on having a healthy boy and having Grace be our angel watching over us.

We took a big trip to San Francisco so John could do the Escape from Alcatraz triathlon. It was a fun, action packed trip for all! I'll post pictures of the week in an alternate post.


Once back from our trip, we started June off with a pleasant, unexpected surprise.....we're expecting again! So, we've been juggling all of the excitement, emotions, fatigue, nausea, and appointments that we have been going through the last few weeks. It's been stressful but we are taking it one day at a time and trying to soak it up while we can. If all goes well, we'll have a February 2019 addition to our family. :)

 

 

 

 

 

Boys and Briefs

James is totally rocking potty training these days. He is not only in a pull-up or diaper for nap and bedtime. A few times, he surprises us and wakes up from nap or bed totally dry! Yay! He has been experimenting with his preferred method of using the potty whether standing up or sitting down- totally depends on his mood at the moment. I'll say, him standing is quite comical although lets be honest....my bathrooms are now getting cleaned 24/7 due to the unpredictable aim. Ha!

I will say though, I think boys in brief underwear is absolutely the cutest and one of my favorite things these days.  He gets so excited to pick out his pair of choice for the day and is so excited about the characters.

That being said, here are some pictures to prove the cuteness! :)

Issues Continue

If you'd ask me, I'd tell you that the last 7-8 weeks have undoubtedly been the hardest days/weeks of my life. While I don't wish to bog down the family blog with posts of sadness of our baby girl's loss, I also firmly believe that this is a piece of our family's puzzle. Part of our story. This is real. Raw. And believe is something that will shape our family regardless of the hardship(s) we face.

The end of February is what we believed to have been "a new beginning" for our family as we began to hurdle and work through the loss of our daughter. What I thought were weeks of rebuilding my strength and mental status was really taking us down yet another path of grief.

Post procedure in the ED and in the doctor's office, I had been told that I had everything from our pregnancy removed. That there was now a clean slate to move ahead. I thought I was getting stronger and able to look ahead when the inconsistent bleeding had me suspicious. After a few weeks of irregular bleeding I finally decided to call my doctor for a plan. Her recommendation given my current symptoms was to do another ultrasound to check for any abnormalities. Another ultrasound and another reminder that I wasn't pregnant- but okay, I obliged. I was off for a few days for Easter to visit family and was able to be squeezed in (pays to be friends with the OB manager at work!!). While I went in anticipating a normal ultrasound I left with the opposite. The physician came in the room to read my ultrasound live, only to inform me that I likely still had retained products of conception. I left feeling so confused. So frustrated, yet still trying to go about my day/weekend with family.

Fast forward to the next day, I decided to call my doctor's nurse to see what the plan was. My doctor, who happened to be on vacation, called me herself. The recommendation was to this time have another procedure- a full D&C so that she could clean everything out. Insert whirlwind of emotions here!!! How? How could we possibly be back to square one? We thought we were moving forward, trying to grow our family again and now this? I kept asking, why God, why!?

Pre-op called me on Monday to talk about the D&C that would take place on Tuesday. I was coming down from a cold and they were telling me not to be surprised if anesthesia would cancel it until I was better. I had so much anger built up inside. "Why did I have to be sick? Why didn't they get everything the first time? WHY!??!" Also, the thought of being put under as a mom is completely unnerving. I think that had me torn up more than anything- leaving James that morning and just praying to God that the medical staff would keep me safe and allow me to wake up and go home to my baby boy who so desperately still needs me.

We got to pre-op on Tuesday morning (thank goodness John could be there as he was supposed to be in Kentucky for work). My heart cringed every time someone asked me what procedure I was having. It was almost always followed with, "Do you have other children? How far along were you?". So hard. The pre-op staff were great and I'd have to say that undoubtedly, God knew I needed him that day. While emotionally waiting in pre-op, for anesthesia to assess me, my pre-op nurse popped her head in my room and handed me a piece of paper which stated this in the picture below.



She definitely didn't have to write that, but she did. Whether she truly knows or not what it's like to be in my situation, just knowing that she truly cared meant so much to me in that moment.

Here we are about two weeks out from that procedure. I've had a f/u with my doctor and she said all looks good and healthy at this point, which is much improved from before my procedure. Although I am battling some other health concerns physically, I am doing my best to make myself the healthiest and best person, wife, and mama possible.

I hope and pray that we have overcome this obstacle. Has it been difficult? More than I can even describe. Will it change things going forward? I certainly imagine. I started seeing a new therapist a few weeks ago and I absolutely love her. My favorite interaction with her from my session was the fact that she told me she wants to continue seeing me even through another pregnancy. That she can help me conquer this hurdle so that I can hopefully someday enjoy being pregnant again.

To all mama's out there that have lost a baby- I get you. I may not get the stage that you lost your sweet baby at, but I get that you "lost". You lost a piece of your heart that can never be replaced. Sending big hugs and prayers.

Loss is hard, loss is real, but I pray that the storm of our loss will eventually lead us to a bright, sunny day.